You Promised
by sunnytheslightlyawkwardgeek
Summary: Oneshot: After Sirius's death, Remus desperately finds ways to see him again, until Tonks can't take it anymore.


"Please, Tonks – just one more time."

"No, Remus! You _have _to move on! This only makes it harder!"

Tonks stood over Remus - her friend, her love, her _fiancé _– and struggled to keep calm. This was wrong, she knew; it had nearly been a year since they'd set foot in the Department of Mysteries (she couldn't refer to it as anything else in front of Remus), but nothing seemed to be getting better. In fact, it might even have gotten worse. After hours of gazing intently at old photographs of them as students, and wishing out loud that Sirius could be there for the wedding, '_like we imagined'_, Remus had disappeared for a whole day, and only after that had Tonks first given in to Remus' begging. This was now the fifth time he'd asked and she couldn't bear it anymore.

"Sirius wouldn't want this." She said angrily, and turned to leave. If she wasn't there, he wouldn't be tempted. _She_ wouldn't be tempted. It would stop, eventually.

But Remus was on his feet now, too.

"_Nymphadora-"_

She spun around, enraged. "Don't you _dare-"_

_"Please."_

He was right in front of her; the calm, controlled, brave man she knew and loved. But his hair, now dirty, was strewn haphazardly over his forehead; his lined face was pale, and his eyes were dull and pleading. He looked exhausted, beaten. They all missed Sirius, especially Harry – but Remus Lupin could not go on.

"This is the last time. I _promise._"

Promises were precious to both of them.

So she nodded. One last time.

Quietly, she picked up a cloak that belonged to her partner, and put it round her shoulders, knocking her own chair sideways, almost comically. She flung out her hand and grabbed it before sitting down, her clothes and body now concealed beneath the dark fabric. Now facing Remus, her heart began to beat frantically in her chest.

"You know I can't change my voice that well…"

"You don't have to say anything." His voice was hoarse, desperate.

She took a deep breath.

Her hair, in her distress, had slowly been turning dark, but now the deep violet turned brown, a much darker brown than her own, and kept going, until it was completely black. Her dark eyes flashed and faded to twinkling grey, and her face changed; a stronger jaw line, fewer wrinkles, and straighter nose. Still in her chair, she grew visibly taller, taller than her husband-to-be, and beneath the cloak, her body shape changed, as subtly as she could manage. Darker brows furrowed in effort, Tonks lifted her eyes and met Remus'. But they were not her eyes. They were his.

All Remus could see was Sirius Black.

"_Sirius." _He breathed, tears in his eyes. But they were good tears, because this was the Sirius he could have been, if he hadn't gone to Azkaban. If James and Lily were here. If he hadn't… If he wasn't…

And yet, he was sitting right there in front of him. Twenty-year-old Sirius Black, looking at his friend, Moony, just as he once had before the full moon, when the change had been particularly difficult.

_"I'll be right here at the end of it, just like always." _He'd said, for once, completely sincere.

And when the sun rose the next day, there he had been, asleep on the scratched, tattered sofa – one that the werewolf inside _him_ had bitten, scraped and ruined - still a dog. Just like Padfoot had promised.

"You _promised_." He whispered. Tonks'-_Sirius's _face frowned, confused, but Remus had to say it now. "You promised you'd be here, through every change. Well, everything's changing, Sirius, and you've gone. Gone." His face was twisted in pain, tears distorting his words. "Harry doesn't deserve to live like this, Sirius. War is upon us now, you know." He shook his head. "And I'm getting _married, _Sirius. You always said I'd be second. James, then me… But what about you? You don't have to _deal with this!_"

His fist slammed down on the table, and 'Sirius' flinched; just for a second, the tips of the dark hair paled, and grey eyes flickered yellow – Tonks' smallest sign of fear. But Remus didn't notice.

"How could you? How could you _leave me?_" He roared, flinging himself from his chair and beginning to pace back and forth, wringing his hands. "I'd only just got you back. _Twelve years – "_

"Remus – " There were tears on Sirius's cheeks and he shook visibly; but Remus was oblivious to his fiancé's struggle.

"I was alone! A werewolf! An outsider! I didn't see Harry until the same year you did. I had no one.

"But then you came back. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, we would be able to go back. Doesn't Harry remind you of James? Don't you remember how we promised that we'd look after one another? And Lily, too… But you're not here! You're - "

At that moment, Remus Lupin experienced a pain like he had never felt; so strong he feared for a second that he was about to change. But it was not emotional, and it was not the werewolf within.

It was a slap.

"Remus – " Sirius had shorter hair, which was turning red-

"John – " He was smaller, thinner-

"Lupin – " And there was Tonks.

"How _dare _you speak about them like that?"

Still reeling from the shock, Remus stared blankly at the woman in front of him, which only seemed to make her angrier. She swelled up before him, literally shooting up until she was taller than him.

"_You promised, _you said. But what about you, Remus? You've spent so long wallowing in your own self-pity that you forgot your promise to them. Just because they're not here doesn't mean you can't keep yours. You said it yourself – Harry's right here. He doesn't deserve to live in a world without a guardian to help him. So where are you? You promised to look after _him_, Remus.

And you're the only one left who can."

In only a second, Lupin was flooded with shame, horror. What was he doing? He sat down, furiously rubbing a tear from his face, and put his head in his hands.

"You're right, Tonks- oh God, you're right." Sighing, the witch shrank back to normal size, and sank to the floor, and once again, she looked up at him.

His hair was still messy, and he looked more tired than ever; but his eyes, though red from his tears, were focused and loving again. Now, when he looked at her, he saw Nymphadora Tonks. And she saw the man she loved; free of werewolf, ghosts, and grief. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked him, voice now gentle, full of respect for her love once again.

For the first time in years, it seemed, he smiled.

"I'll be fine. You know what Sirius once said?" before Tonks could answer, Remus took her hands in his.

"The ones that love us never really leave us."

Crying again, Tonks hugged him tightly, crushing him to her as if she was afraid to lose him if she let go. Remus embraced the feeling, the warmth, the life – knowing now, that she would never have to do this again. He had to stay with her, and Sirius could never be forgotten, but they would never be tangled in his heart.

"I will keep my promises." He whispered.

"I know."


End file.
